Kathy-LetteFor this month’s celebrity travels, author and broadcaster, Kathy Lette, who is godmother to Scenic Tours’ new ship Scenic Jasper, discusses her most memorable travel moments

The Sky Tower in the centre of the buildings of Auckland’s CBD, taken after sunset. Image credit: iStock.

I sailed with Celebrity from Australia to New Zealand at Christmas with my family – three sisters, Mum, hubbies and our progeny. We had so much fun doing everything from quizzes to tango lessons and Karaoke. We danced so much in the disco that we suffered from A.R.D.I. (Abba Related Dance Injuries).

Surfers at sunset in Australia. Image credit: iStock.

My favourite place in Australia is Kioloa on the south coast. My family go every Christmas. We don’t take our board shorts off for two weeks. My sisters and I boogie board all day – four menopausal ‘gidgets’, holding hands as we surf, squealing like toddlers. It’s hedonistic bliss.

Beautiful Vienna. Image credit: WTV/Maxum.

I’ve river cruised from Budapest to Vienna. The joy of cruising is that you can explore every city and have endless adventures, but you’re also umbilically attached to the ship, for comfort and cuisine. Scenic Jasper will be so heavenly, I’ll have to look down to see Cloud Nine. I just can’t wait.

Milford Sound, New Zealand. Image credit: iStock.

My most memorable travel experience so far has been sailing into Milford Sound, on a perfectly still, blue-skied, sparkling morning. I ran out of superlatives and had to email Stephen Fry to airlift in a few more thousand words for “spectacular.”

A Jasper stone. Image credit: iStock.

When Scenic asked me to be godmother I agreed straight away, as long as I could have a figurehead at the front of the ship. They’ve commissioned a leopard mini-skirted figurehead in a push-up bra. Now I can finally say that I have prowess. And of course, a really big bust. They name all their ships after gems, and the Jasper stone resembles leopard skin. So, I’ll be wearing my pink leopard print suit. Plus my heart on my sleeve, obviously.

I love river cruising. No traffic jams, no faulty sat navs, no fights over map reading. Even after you’ve spent what seems like an entire week on one seven-lane sub-orbital ring road and everyone in the car has started to resemble a passenger on the raft of the Medusa, men would rather die than ask directions. Which is why they always include a woman in the space shuttle now. But cruising takes the angst out of European travel.

Kathy’s latest novel is Courting Trouble (£7.99, Black Swan), a mother/daughter satire on life, love, litigation and acute lust in the 3rd degree. You can find out more at kathylette.com.

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